Before we begin, we must point out that despite evidence to the contrary, Stan Bowles has a lot of time for his old QPR chairman, the late Jim Gregory. This was someone who often sorted his star player out with an extra £200 from his own pocket when Bowles was skint. "Usually every Monday," according to the man himself, so what's not to like? The man was giving him free money to give to the bookies!
On top of that, Bowles even got to live in a house Gregory owned in west London rent free where, not for the first time, his gambling addiction got him in trouble.
"[Former QPR midfielder] Dave Thomas was heavily into his gardening and one day, when he was giving me a lift to training, he came in to have a look around," he explained in his excellent autobiography.
Naturally the big greenhouse amongst all the weeds caught his eye and Thomas asked his team-mate what he was going to do with it.
"Fuck all," came the reply. Bowles wasn't big on gardening and, in his own words, thought a Flymo was a can of deodorant.
"I'll give you £100 for it," Thomas said, which Bowles refused until the gambler in him began to think what he could do with the money.
"With a few wins under my belt maybe I could buy the glasshouse back with a few extra quid besides," he reasoned with himself.
And just like that a deal was done, with Thomas returning later on with a truck to take delivery of his purchase.
"I helped load it panel by panel, until all that was left was a large, flattened empty space where the greenhouse used to stand. There were a few discarded plant pots scattered around the lawn so to rid myself of any damning evidence I tossed them over the fence."
As for the £100 and Gregory's greenhouse, Bowles lost the money on the first night and it was never seen again.
"I remember a 14-year-old kid coming up to me and asking for my signature. I said: 'Not now, sonny. I've just done a greenhouse,'" as the magnitude of what he had done began to dawn on him.
"Later I felt guiltier about not giving him the autograph than losing the greenhouse."
Bowles admitted there were a few anxious moments when his boss visited for a cup of tea and looked out into the garden from the kitchen.
"I could almost hear him thinking 'didn't there used to be something there?' At that point I sidetracked him into a conversation about Bonanza, the popular western TV series he was fond of."
It worked and the mystery of the missing greenhouse was soon forgotten. However, Bowles also revealed Gregory gave him the option of buying the house for £12,500, but he turned it down only for it to be eventually sold for £80,000.
More from Bowles:
When Stan and Shanks thought they'd won a spot the ball comp
When Stan Bowles decided to wear two different boots in a game